TESTIMONIALS
Mom's Last Harvest
"A Message from Beyond"
Letter from George Elgstrand
Lillian Annie Vine
The Story of Florence Henders
MOM'S LAST HARVEST
by Len Brownlie
It was just after the last plum tree was harvested that Mom’s unexplained stomach pain became more persistent. A month of visits to the Doctor, tests and medications provided little relief. Dad rushed her to the local hospital emergency ward, where she waited three days over the Thanksgiving long weekend for surgery. It was also in Emergency that we celebrated, as best we could, Mom and Dad’s 62 years of marriage. When I left the hospital that night in tears, my son, Jake, looked at me and said, "Why are you crying, she will be all right". Four days later though, our fears were confirmed. When Dad brought Mom home a few days later, she sat on the bed and asked us if she would see the crocuses bloom next spring. I told her she would.
Just before Christmas, I met the famous Texan cyclist Lance Armstrong. Lance had rebounded from multiple site testicular cancer to win five Tour de France bike races. Lance graciously inscribed a copy of his book "To Elizabeth, all my very best" and his written words gave her hope where none had been. Right until the end, she repeated his words: "Never give up". She asked me to thank him for the encouragement he had given her, and, on September 29, I did.
By the end of January, Mom was spending more time in bed, and, after several bad nights, she was back in Emergency. For a woman who had only been inside a hospital to deliver her two children, the commotion of hospital existence weakened her body however her spirit remained strong. As a coastal winter turned to a warm spring, Mom did see the crocuses bloom, then the tulips and all the plum trees.
On a Sunday morning in June, we were awakened by a call from Mom, asking for help. We rushed over, and found her in a wheelchair, weak and in pain. Three days later, a blood infection led to another hospital stay. This time, however, Mom didn’t bounce out of bed and walk out of the hospital. She drifted in and out of consciousness. The shock of her sudden demise was made all the worse by the unfamiliar and impersonal nature of a general hospital ward.
Sometimes in life, angels do appear. I can’t describe the physical form of this angel, but one surely did appear and touched our lives. So, on a warm June afternoon, my wife, my Dad and I made the short walk from the hospital to Crossroads Hospice. We were overwhelmed by the warmth and compassion of the volunteers and the peace and serenity offered by the facility. If this was to be the end of Mom’s life journey, it was a lovely destination. Mom was given a bright new room painted in soothing colours. The first physician to see her told me that she had but "short weeks" to live. However, he did not know Mom. With the help of antibiotics, Mom overcame the blood infection and, with the understanding, love and care of the hospice staff, Mom made a gallant recovery. Dad, who at age 85 had wore himself out trying to be a caregiver, began to relax. Mom often said she felt like she was on a luxury ocean cruise while in hospice. Mom’s goals changed. She wanted to see the raspberries ripen, then the first stage of the Tour de France, where her hero, Lance Armstrong, would attempt to win a sixth straight race.
Throughout July, Dad would pick raspberries in the early morning, then drive to the hospice and spend the day with Mom. Together they would enjoy their meals and watch the Tour on television. She often worried that Lance would crash, that he was working too hard, but Lance prevailed in the mountains, and she remained strong by his example. In the afternoons, Mom and Dad would nap in her room, be entertained by musicians and sit on the patio and enjoy the flower garden. In the evening, I would visit her, often with my wife and some of the grandchildren in tow. Mom was determined to live until Dad’s birthday in early July, then mine in mid-July and her own in late July. She also lived to see Lance win an unprecedented sixth straight Tour.
By early August, she made plans to go home, at least for a visit. On a bright sunny Sunday in early August, we drove home in my old truck, with her wheelchair in the back. Mom saw her garden, the ripe yellow plum trees and her house, and we shared a special dinner with all of her favorite foods. When we took her back to the Hospice, she fell asleep for the entire night.
By early September, the weather deteriorated and Mom’s condition worsened. She struggled to overcome overwhelming fatigue to go home one more time. It took three days for her to gather enough strength but on Labour Day she came back to see the last of the prune plums picked by her three grandchildren. After three hours, she needed to go back to the hospice and, as I laid her in her bed, she said, "I won’t be going home again". The next week, I had an out of town conference that I needed to attend. My parents gave me their permission to leave and the hospice staff assured me that they would look after both Mom and Dad. I called my parents every day until we returned. Then, quite suddenly, Mom failed. Amidst many tears, my wife and children visited Granny and said their goodbyes. The hospice staff provided enormous comfort and compassion. But they did not know the depth of Mom’s spirit. She refused to go peacefully into that great night. Through some dark hours, the hospice staff were unbelievably caring and attentive. Mom passed away on September 19, 2004 .
It is our destiny, once we are born, to end our earthbound lives in death. While our society celebrates birth, it ignores or ostracizes death. This is unfair, particularly to the ailing members of our community. "We believe in your right to live without pain, and if it comes to it, your right to die with dignity" states the manifesto of the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Crossroads Hospice epitomizes this worthy goal. Citizens of the tri-cities should be proud of this leading edge palliative care facility. As a family member of a patient, I passionately urge you to support this incredible organization.
In memory of Elizabeth Brownlie, who passed away at Crossroads on September 19, 2004
"A MESSAGE FROM BEYOND" (May 18, 2004)
Until my Mom was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer in March 2004, I really had no idea what a "hospice" was all about. Dad and I were very fortunate to learn of the Crossroads Inlet Hospice through the staff at MRH. We were told of this wonderful facility, newly opened in September 2003 that was all about care, compassion and dignity for those people who were dying of a terminal illness.
Mom went into Crossroads on April 19, 2004 and was there for a month which gave my Dad and myself a lot of time to get to know all of the incredible doctors, nurses, staff and volunteers who work there. I became very curious about the "Dragonfly" logo which was just about everywhere you looked. Pete gave me a handout which told the story submitted by a volunteer who was on a camping trip with her young son. A dragonfly had landed on her son’s hand and as he held it, its tail curled up, which I learned is what they do when they are about to die. He held it gently until it had passed away and he felt that he had somehow helped it on its journey. This is what "hospice" is all about, so the "Dragonfly" logo was adopted.
My Mom passed away on the morning of May 18th. My Dad and I were with her. We know she waited until he arrived that morning. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day so when we got home I prepared lunch for us to eat outside on the deck. I went outside and was about to sit down when a baby dragonfly circled my chair ... I was awestruck as I watched it ... I held out my hand and it landed in my palm ... I called to Dad who came out to see ... we watched as it sat for a few seconds and it then flew away ... Mom was very much a believer in signs and omens so Dad I knew this was Mom saying goodbye and letting us know that she was OK. It was a young dragonfly ... just starting a new life ... just as she was.
In memory of Jenny Robertson
February 12, 1927 – May 18, 2004
LETTER FROM GEORGE ELGSTRAND
November 8, 2007
Crossroads Hospice Society
101 Noons Creek Drive
Port Moody, B.C.
V3H 5J1
Dear Friends & Care Givers
Enclosed is a small token of my deep appreciation for the loving care you gave to my dearest Lynne as she completed her life's journey. That same care and concern was extended to my family and I as we said goodbye to someone we loved and cherished so much, for that I will be forever grateful.
The process is a painful one and having your staff show such grace, the quiet surroundings giving such comfort, and the knowledge that the same journey was being shared by others were all comforting factors.
Were I able, my small gift would be much, much greater - the reality is, however, that it cannot be at this time.
I'm hopeful that as time passes I will be able to contribute more towards the God-sent work of the Hospice.
I wish you all the very best in the days, weeks and years to come and know that all who come to you in their time of parting will also be blessed as my Lynne was.
Thank you so very much.
In God's love
George Elgstrand
1017 Ogden Street
Coquitlam, B.C.
V3C 3V8
LILLIAN ANNIE VINE (March 23, 2007)
Dear Linda,
Re: Our Mom - Lillian Annie Vine
We, the children of Lillian Annie Vine would like to take this opportunity to say thank you.
OUR THANKS...to you, Linda. You were available and able to meet with each wave of incoming family. You kept us all on the same page with respect to Mom's Illness. You informed us of the process: arriving, residing and departing.
OUR THANKS...to Pete and his remarkable volunteers. We enjoyed the creativity of the art cart ladies. The one-on-one visitors gave us relief in knowing that someone would always be available for Mom. She enjoyed meeting and making new friends. She arrived on a Friday. She hadn't been in her room long, when the Tea Wagon showed up. She really enjoyed that "cuppa" tea, which was served in a beautiful china cup and poured from that exquisite teapot. And we could not have made it without the prayers, songs and hugs from your spiritual volunteers, Elly and Micky. And we shall not forget Winnie.
OUR THANKS...to the amazing cooks, Rhonda and Renatta. We enjoyed the wonderful smells permeating the air when we stepped out from the elevator. It was like coming home. Mom loved the food. She so enjoyed the small portions of tasty and beautifully presented, home cooked meals.
OUR THANKS...to the nursing staff, in particular Kristen. You made her comfortable. You took care of all the pain, albeit physical or emotional. You touched her heart and soul. You helped us to help her. Thank you for caring enough to provide such a high standard of care, and delivered with the utmost compassion and dignity. We could not have asked for any better than what you provided. Thank you for being there. And we will not forget Mom's Jamaica Rum Lady".
OUR THANKS...to Dr. Helen Arntsen and Dr. Kevin Sclater. You were always available and kept us informed about Mom's condition. You reassured us and addressed our "fears of the unknown". Mom was certainly in good hands. Your time and attention was very much appreciated.
OUR THANKS...to the housekeeping staff. You kept her lovely room clean and tidy. Your smiles and kind words will be remembered.
And finally, we would like to take this opportunity to let each of you know that we are so very thankful for the part you played in providing Mom with a chance to enjoy her final days. Our Dad died 10 months earlier and was not able to access palliative care. His death and dying was a difficult time for all of us, but in particular Mom. Upon arriving at Crossroads, Mom commented that Dad should have been here. You gave Mom a safe place to finally grieve for her sweetheart and husband of 55 years.
We really enjoyed our time with Mom. She was comfortable, happy and at peace. She was a delight. Mom was given a chance to reconnect with her siblings. And we had a chance to see a sweetness that pain had hidden away. You gave all of us a safe place to express our fears. You supported Mom and her family in such a meaningful way. None of us will ever forget Mom's peaceful passing and the part Crossroads played.
With thanks and appreciation
Irene M. Clarkson
Elleen A. Bird
Lorie J. Welly
Tom & Maxine Vine
Larry Vine
p.s. Thank you for making such a difference
THE STORY OF FLORENCE HENDERS
Our mother, Florence Henders, was a patient at Crossroads Hospice for one week in June, 2006. She had suffered a debilitating stroke. Her right side was paralyzed and she had no voice.
During the family meeting, Linda Kozina asked us to think of ways in which the hospice team could make Mom's days at Crossroads more personal and meaningful. Immediately, music came to our minds.
Our mother had led a very long and full musical life. As a child, she was classically trained in piano and voice. She appreciated all types of music and even showed a genuine interest in the rock and roll music of the sixties that her daughters played as well as the alternative and rap music of her grandchildren. At the age of eight-six, she still sang in her church choir. Music was her joy.
Linda arranged to have a musician play in Mom's room. As the guitarist sang his folk repertoire, Mom intermittently tapped a finger on the bed, her only way of showing enjoyment.
Several days later, another musician played and sang for Mom. When the song "In the Garden" was played, I sang along too and glanced over at Mom. I couldn't believe what I saw. She was "singing"! Her mouth was open and moving without sound but she was singing! We couldn't hear the joy she was feeling but we could see it. This, for sure, was a poignant, tearful moment and oh, so magical.
We are very grateful that these musical opportunities that touched the depth of her heart were available to our Mom. Thank you Linda for your compassion.
"Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter". - John Keats
Sincerely,
Elinor Corcoran
Submitted by Linda Kozina, Hospice Manager
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